Retreating to our cave

As a guy, I can relate to the influence of the mind. It is generally more rampant than for women, who are more emotionally centric. I only speak in general terms for there are exceptions to everything.

As a guy, I also thought I was the only one who had the tendency to retreat inside my thoughts. I may well be more mentally active than most (more is not better), but the pattern is the same. 

I have a high abstract reasoning aptitude, so I see and work out things inside my head, so maybe my take on this is a bit exaggerated. 

Unfortunately, for me anyway if not for other guys, mine is also a conditioned reflex triggered by the harsh events of my childhood, where I learnt to cope with that reality by imagining a more acceptable reality to reframe the contradictions of life. That became my cave.

Many commentators on the differences between men and women will confirm that men have a high tendency to retreat to their own caves and work things out. Thus, for men, things are being solved when the talking stops, while women tend to feel that things solve when the talking starts.

Neither is better. I see a lot of value in talking about things, but my intuitive response is to think, think, think first and then talk. It is often a hindrance, because talking would have acquired a different perspective and potentially neutralized the very issue that preoccupied me.

It is counter-intuitive for most men to talk first, to ask for directions or to seek help. We have to think hard about doing that. Actually, I will readily ask for directions or help because somewhere along my life journey I observed how that helped women and I chose to do likewise.

The male brain was made to think deeply about issues and lead from the head not the heart, partly to balance the other half, which leads more from the heart, but also to provide a restraint of reason in moments of governance and decision-making. Male pragmatism almost certainly is more healthy than unhealthy and it is vital to their leadership of the home. Our minds have less “bandwidth” too, which limits our capacity for multi-tasking, but focuses us on immediate priorities.

The more sinister concern is that it is in the mind where we strive with God. Thus, Paul confirmed that, “the carnal mind is enmity to God” (Romans 8). In 2 Corinthians 3, he adds that Israel veiled their minds to the outworking of the law. I submit that the greatest hurdle to the full realization of our faith is the mind. As such, a man’s greatest strength could be his greatest weakness.

There is no doubt that the mind is very powerful and capable of distorting or altering reality. As such, letting it run its rampant course pits us directly against God. Thus, Paul also spoke in 2 Corinthians 10 of taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.

That may be the most definitive battlefield for men. A friend, with chronic and debilitating fibromyalgia, is on the mend after a decade of suffering because he discerned the link between the mind and health. He chose to get his mind right by letting his spirit rule through praise, reading of his bible and by harnessing the wild beast within. It really is miraculous.

I walked a parallel course to a similar conclusion, that this town ‘aint big enough for the two of us. Either I let God rule, or I rule. Rule by committee is not an option. I have sensed a decade of divine silence and I now think it was because I had unconsciously excluded God from my cave of coping, but the gentleman He is, stepped aside and let me find my own pigsty.

I can’t say more now without an elongated post. Suffice to say that if men in particular and humans in general are battling in health and spirituality, maybe they should reflect on how much their minds are the problem. I submit that, until we resolve such battlefields, the full impact of what Jesus did to save us from sin, will also elude us. 

(c) Peter Missing: bethelstone@gmail.com