However, she soon found things to not
like about me. One of them was a tendency to pour out sugar or salt on a
restaurant table and make pictures in it. I don’t do it anymore, but I had other flaws.
One
of the greatest virtues of marriage lies in the way it domesticates the
wildness of men.
I had to serve in the military for a while, but far away from
home in a forward base. There were no females there, so strong language was
normal, as were some other things.
Then one weekend an
officer’s wife flew in for the weekend, and without a word spoken she restored
our humanity. Flowers were allowed, for a while, to step out of straight little
lines, no one used the outdoor urinals and the swearing stopped.
A friend once said to
me, “but my wife isn’t very spiritual”, to which I replied, “thank God for that
… if you had your own spiritual way without the balance she brings, where would
you be?”
I certainly see my own
wife as a vital balancer. I am forever grateful for that. It’s not that my wife
is less spiritual, she is just a great balancing factor. She is that anyway, as
she is the female half of a union, a natural equal yet opposite by which we
complete each other.
Okay, so over the
decades, she has indicated what harmonizes our relationship and what harms
oneness. We have both learned so much about that, that it is now second nature.
The result … we have a
lot of harmony. We have occasional arguments and fights, but mostly we have
found mutual bliss and enjoyment. The union has fulfilled itself.
Is it any different
with God?
In principle it is
just the same. He is complementary to us as in He completes us and, believe it
or not, we complete Him. He influences our ongoing adjustment and change, even
though He enters the relationship on unconditional terms.
However, though He
loves us I am sure He doesn’t always like us. If the Jews irritated Him in
their Wilderness years and angered Him after that, be sure that we are as bad
if not worse.
We enter the union
with warts, pimples and so much more. Actually, if it was just a simple case of
removing obvious dirt, it wouldn’t be so bad, yet religion is quite satisfied
with an external spit and polish. As long as we look the part, we are probably
okay.
In truth, as it is for
my marriage, the factors that undermine harmony are far more insidious and
destructive. Those things lie at the roots of our sin nature and, as such, they
offend God, sure, but worse, they isolate us from Him.
The distance between a
boat and the wharf can increase for two reasons – the wharf moves, which would
be unusual, or the boat moves. Well that is true for most of us, most of the
time – our own ways are our biggest stumbling stones.
That too was true of
my marriage. I would get upset, dig a hole, wish I hadn’t and then allow pride
to keep me from setting that right, resulting in isolation and a coldness that,
when resolved, did so quickly. I suspect we can resolve most things with God,
as readily.
Practicality first please
The point here is that
for us to reach the zenith of spirituality, as in a depth of relationship with
God, we need to first do a lot of practical things, first.
I won’t go into that as to prescribe to an organic relationship, as in providing a "how to manual", is to deprive it of all its soul and any sense of meaning.
As for any relationship, the pursuit of a fulfilling relationship with God
is a journey of many small steps, steady adjustments that exalt the troughs and level the peaks.
I am all for being spiritual, but put
that first and you end up with contrived mystique, language or
behavior that is more for human consumption - God loves authenticity but hates contrivances, as in religious piety, syrupy behavior or false humility. Its a stench in His nostrils.
Pleasing others misses the entire point. Indeed, the further I have walked with
God, the less complex and mystical He has become. Abraham was a friend of God,
David was the apple of His eye … I suspect we can get there too.
(c) Peter Missing: bethelstone@gmail.com
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